A couple of days ago, an American acquaintance of mine asked if I was worried about my country due to its difficult situation. He meant both the war in Donbass, the current economic state of Ukraine, and everything else taken together, as it appears to them from across the ocean. I replied that I do not consider this country mine, so there is not much to worry about. He was surprised. Patriotism seems to be in the blood of Americans. Apparently, not in mine. Should it be?
Culture. Many years ago, in school, during the times of the Soviet Union, I was taught to be proud of my Motherland and its culture. And there was something to be proud of. In the rankings of the best writers, poets, composers, artists, or directors, Russia always held leading positions, which were successfully inherited by the Soviet Union. Now I have a different Motherland imposed on me, whose culture does not occupy any serious positions in any rankings. Instead of Dostoevsky, Bulgakov, and Pelevin, they “shoved” third-rate Shevchenko, Karpenko-Kary, and Zhadan onto me. These are not “my” writers, I don’t want to read them and I cannot be proud of them.
Language. The country is increasingly speaking Ukrainian, a language foreign to me. Furthermore, I am forbidden to use my native Russian language in official communication with government agencies, when signing contracts at the bank, when watching movies at the cinema, when listening to news on central TV channels, and even when consuming advertising. In my own country, I feel like a national minority, whose interests, as Russian propaganda accurately notes, are increasingly infringed upon. The country where I was born and raised did not speak this language. This language is being imposed on me. It is not “my” language.
Information. In my country, I am prohibited from using the Internet, at least partially. Just like in Iran where access to Twitter is blocked, and in China where access to Facebook is restricted, in my country, I am blocked from accessing Vk.com, Ok.ru, Auto.ru and other sites. Just like the KGB used to jam “Radio Liberty” for my parents, now Vkontakte is being “jammed” for me, and I am forbidden from accessing undesirable literature. I cannot consider this country mine if it treats my constitutional right to information this way. This is not my country.
Politics. Whether it’s the progressing degradation of the population or the savvy actions of the ruling elite in recent years that have raised anti-Russian sentiments to absurd levels, and the patriotism of the masses to the level of idiocy. As a result, practically speaking, this has resulted in the loss of Crimea and Donbass, and for me personally, the impossibility of flying from Ukraine to Russia on direct flights. Now a train ticket from Odessa to Moscow costs 7130 hryvnias (~$285), and a flight from Odessa to Minsk to Moscow costs $153. I cannot find logic in this math, just like I cannot find it in the fact that entering Crimea is now considered a criminal offense. I do not want to live by these new rules, and I cannot consider them “mine”. I can only tolerate them.
Power. The country is ruled by blatant criminals, chosen by a blatantly foolish people. My people regularly gather in squares to forcibly change the government and redistribute property or financial flows. I cannot respect such behavior and do not want to consider that people “mine”, who are not really fighting for their freedom. I also do not respect the authority that robs and humiliates its own people. This is not my authority and not my people.
And I’m not even talking about the fact that the population of my country is on the brink of extinction due to poverty mainly because of corruption. I’m not talking about the fact that my people are one of the leaders in the world in terms of drug consumption. I’m not talking about the fact that the only more impoverished healthcare system than in Ukraine is found in a few countries in Africa. With all this, perhaps we could fight it, and perhaps even win. But only if it were “my” country.
I do not consider Ukraine to be such, although formally I am still its citizen.
Translated by ChatGPT gpt-3.5-turbo/42 on 2024-04-20 at 14:43
